981 ARR
I am exhausted. As a Jedi I am able to push through my exhaustion and keep going even when I've went passed my endurance. That is what I've done for the last twenty-four hours; we walked forty miles through the deeply set mire and the pouring rain. Our heavy artillery kept getting stuck and My Master and I helped our troops pull it out which caused the journey from point A to point B to take even longer. My Master is amazing. He barely even looked tired. Only I who has worked with him for so long could see the tiredness he held back. It was evident in the tightness of his cheeks and the slight loosening of his brow. I wish I had that amount of control....
We're at our position and now I'm resting in one of the stronghold's many rooms, using a biowipe to scrape the worse of the mud off my skin and clothes. I know I should sleep but it evades me because I know it will only cause nightmares. So, I'm just going to meditate later and hope that the Force will suffice for lack of proper rest.....I can hear my Master now, telling me that the Force is never a nursemaid; it is a friend and a guide but it won't take perfect care of me; I must rely on myself for somethings.
I thought about this journal a bit on the long trek and I've decided to tell you about my friends.
My best friends, besides my Master, are: Kyla, Rune, and Lint. I've been friends with them- or in some cases...was- since we were Initiates in the Bear Clan. We met back when my memories grow hazy and I can barely remember our first meetings; but I still remember the vivid happiness I felt when we all held hands and spoke the Code together, the words tangling up in our mouths and us laughing.....
I miss Rune and Lint so much.......so very much.
Rune was an Echani boy one year my junior. He was a quiet, kind individual who had an extraordinary connection to the Force. He was such a pure soul that even if he hadn't looked like one, he would have reminded me of the Angels on the moons of Iego. He was killed along with his Master on Caamas during a mega-large surprise attack led by General Grievous. I heard his scream in my mind as he died.........
Lint was an Togrutan boy about one month older than I. He was the complete opposite of Rune; he was loud and brash, always ready to jump in with his lightsaber flashing. But, like Rune he had a kind heart, even if it was rough on the outside. I always wondered if that was why he and Rune had such a connection, because of their differences.....I guess I will never know, now. Lint fell with his Master during a duel with the fearsome Ventress herself. I felt the lightsaber graze my side through the Force as he died......
Kyla is my only friend still alive.... She is a human girl and one of the strongest people I know. Her lightsaber skills are amazing and she wields two as easily as people walk. Besides my Master, she knows me best. I haven't seen her in over a year. I wish I could contact her but I don't want to endanger her position or mine. So I'll just have to trust in the Force that we will meet up soon.......
I'm not entirely sure if that helped; I still miss Rune and Lint with an ache that does not dull. But maybe I'll see improvement over the course of the war....if it ever ends, that is....
Okay, I'll stop now. I really don't think it's a good idea for me to obsess over death so much; it can't be healthy and it's not something a Jedi should obsess over.
I'm going to meditate now and maybe go over my katas....anything to keep death out of my thoughts.
May the Force be with You and may the galaxy know peace.
Aran Liander
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