Thursday, January 12, 2012
From the holodiary of Aran Liander: Jedi Apprentice
Separatists attacked our position again a few hours ago but this time we drove them off and bombed the last of their forces. We've won, in other words. I remember back at the beginning of the war that when we came to victory I always felt glad...well, actually, more like ecstatic, but that's beyond the point, because now...now all I get is a sense of satisfaction and a sour taste in my mouth. Now don't get me wrong, you know that I want the war to end but....it just never seems to end. And anyway, how can we win when the leader of the Republic is captured? I don't know what's happening since all contact from Coruscant has been blocked and we haven't heard anything since last night.
My leg is stinging; I was wounded during the final stages of the battle by a blaster bolt that got through my guard. I guess I need to work on my defensive techniques some more.....but, really, I shouldn't complain. So many people have died and lost limbs....at least I'm still here and still whole. I can thank the Force for that.
My Master keeps pacing before me in suppressed agitation. His head is bowed, hands clasped behind his back, and his mouth forming silent words that I can't seem to be able to read. When ever I try to reach out with the Force I feel a buzzing field of bouncing energy that feels almost like some sort of electromagnetic field. It doesn't feel right...nothing feels right...
I'm getting tired now, so I think I'll take a quick nap....
Good news! The Chancellor has been rescued! Master Kenobi and and Anakin seem to have done it. I don't know the details but I do know that Skywalker killed Dooku....I know, I can't believe it either. He has haunted my dreams for the last three years and now he's gone. A part of me is joyous; one of the dreaded Sith is no more but...it is not the Jedi way to rejoice about the loss of life and redemption. What could Dooku have been had he not turned his back on his Order and became that which he'd sword to destroy? What could he have become? So instead I will meditate on what I think and look for a sense of regret at his passing in my heart.
The other good news is that we are leaving! Yoda himself called my Master, our troops, and I back to the Temple. I cannot wait to be back there...to walk around the peaceful, wet inclosure of the Room of a Thousand Fountains, to spar in safe, clean training rooms, to sleep in a soft, warm bed, to eat things other than dried or powdered rations. I know these longings are not the way of the Jedi and I will work on putting them out of mind and focusing on the genuine fact that I am heading home. I thank the Force a million times for that. Well, I'd better go, we're boarding now. Liander out.
Something...interesting happened just a few minutes ago. I'd been lying on my sleeping cot, trying to get some sleep on our journey back to Coruscant. I'd just been about to drift off when I sensed my Master standing over me looking at me. For a moment I thought we were under attack and he was going to awaken me but when he'd stood there in silence for more than fifteen seconds I began to wonder what he was doing. Than I heard his voice, so soft that for a moment I thought I'd imagined his words. He said - “Moments...so fleeting. Before you know...they're gone. You're an old man before you realize it.” Than I heard him bend down and felt his hand on my shoulder. “Aran...enjoy your life...enjoy every minute of it. Because...you won't realize what you had till you lost it. And your almost home, son. Your almost home.” Then his handed lifted from my shoulder and with a rustle of his robe he was gone. I sat up and have been for the last few minutes, still wondering, still not knowing what to think of it. My Master had never spoke like that before. I'm not sure what it meant....and I don't know if meditating will help at all but I'll give it a try anyway...
So, May the Force be with you and may the war come to a swift, clean end.