From the Holo-Diary of Aran Liander: Jedi Apprentice

981 ARR

School has been amazing lately. Well, not 'amazing' but you get my meaning. In the last two or so weeks since Kayla said she wanted to be friends with me, I've been feeling lighter than I have in such a long time. I've been doing better in school, top of my class in fact, and the shameful slashes of weakness on my arms are fading fast. Natalie and Ben, seeing that I wasn't insane as they'd thought, haven't said anymore about a 'psychologist' and for that I am glad. I don't want to unload my heart to anyone who isn't a Jedi. No one but a Jedi would understand and would be able to help me.

But enough of that, Kayla is my friend again! I don't think she's quite over her crush on me, but at least she hasn't said anything and for that I am thankful. I may be able to face an army of droids without feeling too much fear, but I don't have the courage to deal with someone liking me.

Santana, of course, as been all sulky and babyish as always, sending me what she thinks are dirty-looks but instead make her look like she's either over-acting on pouting or constipated.

Kayla, I'm happy to see, is no longer friends with Satana. I wish I knew what had happened to make her suddenly drop the girl she's been so obsessed with being all buddy-buddy with, but since she hasn't told me, I've decided not to push it. I just want to enjoy it while it lasts.

Besides Kayla's surprising renewal of friendship, I haven't had any problems with the bullies from the Empire. I'm not sure why, but everything seems to be going to well.

Of course, even though everything has been going so well, I haven't forgotten what Vader said to me.

That's why I've been bringing my pack of my past with me to school everyday. Just encase.

Well, I'm off to school. I'll see you after my training session tonight, diary.

The cell is cold.

I've been curled up in the corner for so long that I don't know if its the same day or if a night has passed. Maybe it doesn't even matter. At least they left everything with me. I tried to cut through the walls of the cell but I shouldn't have bothered; they were lightsaber resistant. Of course.

I was soaring too high and my wings were incinerated by the sun. Guess Jedi aren't supposed to be happy anymore. I can't believe it. How could this have happened. How-

I'm probably not making much sense, so I think I will start from the beginning.

I went to school like I did everyday, happy especially because Kayla was my friend again. Was that only this morning? Yesterday. Whatever. Well, anyway, when I got to school, everyone seemed to tense, even the teachers who never let anything but an annoying student faze them. I remember I could feel the intensity pulsing in the very air around the hallowed halls and stuffy classrooms. But I'd tried to ignore it, not wanting the strange sensation to ruin my good mood. I was a kriffed up idiot it turns out.

I should have followed my instincts and trusted that little warning voice inside me.

It happened at lunch. I'd sat down with my horrible has usual meal at the table I always sat and waited for Kayla, forcing the nasty soup down my throat. Nothing had seemed amiss, but I'd felt a flutter of foreboding in-between my ribs and insides, as if a winged insect was beating about inside me, trying to find a way out. I'd tried to dismiss it, but just as I managed to push it to the further-most parts of my brain, it surged back; such a deep tremor of warning in the Force I nearly fell from my floor.

The doors had swung open with a bang and a mass of Clones-I mean, stormtroopers, swarmed in, their feet thundering against the stone of the floor. I'd instinctively thrust my hand to my left hip, which was weaponless, before remembering that my lightsaber was in my bag. I hadn't pulled it out at first, instead just letting my palm rest against the soft cloth. Keeping my head down, I'd tried to look not involved but it didn't matter because I heard the lead stormtrooper shout loudly to us all words that froze my blood to sludge.

“Where is the Jedi? We have information that one is hiding in this school and we need to know who it is.” I had felt dread hit me so hard in the stomach that I almost gave myself away by gasping. I clenched my jaws shut to lock the rest of the gasp inside me as I fought the urge to bolt.

My first thoughts had immediately turned to Satana. She had done this. She'd somehow found out who I was and reported that there was a Jedi at the school. I remember wondering how she could have possibly figured it out. I hadn't let anything slip, had I?

Then was when I heard the horrible. I heard her say.

“I already told you who it was, you idiot. It's him.” The Clones had toward me then, guns raised. I somehow managed to push through the shock that had reduced my mind to gelatin and pull my lightsaber from my pack and ignite it, the blue blade a zigzag of vividness. I heard a crescendo of gasping from those all around me; so well synchronized that they could have been doing a performance.

“Surrender, Jedi.” I swallowed hard, looking around at all the teens sitting around me. I could fight, I could but someone would get hurt. Someone might even day. I deactivated the lightsaber, the thrumming, which had felt so assuring against my palms, vanishing completely. I dropped it into my pocket and made a run for it.

I had made it to the door before they hit me with a stun beam- powered down so that I was still conscious. But I hadn't been able to move. Two stormtroopers had hefted me to my feet, my arms hanging limply against their shoulders as they dragged me to the door.

And there she stood, red hair fanning out around her shoulders, a hard look on her face, her tears wet with angry tears. I had felt tears sting my own eyes. I had known it was her when she'd spoken but up until that moment when I saw her there, I hadn't wanted to believe.

Kayla...WHY???? I'd tried to speak, tried to whisper that to her, but I even though I could speak through the stupor my body was in, I just couldn't force the words out. Instead, I am ashamed to say, I said

“Kayla, please. What did I do?” Her face twisted and she spat in my face.

“You....you want to know what you did?” She flashed a look at the troopers who dragged me to the hallway entrance and tossed me into an undignified heap on the ground. Kayla had leaned down over me, the strands of her scarlet hair touching my face, and her right hand jammed into my chest, grabbing onto my stiff shirt with a vicious strength.

“You chose Satana over me, didn't you? You were with her at that party, weren't you?” Before I could answer, she shoved her fist against my lips.

“Wait, don't even answer that. I know what you did. Satana told me all about it. She told me that the best way to get revenge was to find something out about you. I didn't want to do it at first but I finally decided to. So I called you and when you weren't looking, I read your diary.” I'd felt an audible gasp escape me, pain a ever-growing stone at the pit of my stomach.

“Not all of it of course. Just enough to know who you are.” Her fist pressed harder against mouth and after that, I'd felt her other hand dig hard into my stomach.

“And you know what?” She had leaned even closer then and her voice had fell to a feathery hiss.

“I used to like the Jedi. I had felt bad for them when they were all slaughtered. But now I see they are just as the HoloNet said. Hypocrites. Pathetic hypocrites. I'm glad they were killed.” Her hands fell away suddenly and she was coming straight towards me. Realizing what was about to happen, I turned my face away and her lips fell against my cheekbone. When I had turned my face back to her, I saw that her eyes were red and clotted with tears. Tears of hurt and rage and such warped emotions that I finally understood what she'd meant.

“No, No, Kayla, I didn't. I swear. You don't have to do this.”

“Shut Up!” She'd screamed and her hand had slapped me so hard, that if I hadn't used the Force, my head would have slammed into the floor.

“That is quite enough, ma'am,” one of the troopers said, pulling her back. She'd fought to free herself from his grip but to no avail. She looked me straight in the eye and suddenly I didn't see a young girl. I saw someone older than I. Too old to be in school. I don't know who she was but she wasn't a student. Not in the least. How had she done that?

“You've been duped, you damn Jedi, and I hope you rot.” The troopers had lifted me up again and had set off with me towards the school's docking bay and all I could do was cry.

They brought me here on a ship. I'm not sure, but I think I heard something about the Imperial Academy.

I know I should be working on a solution to getting out. I know I should be planning my escape, meditating, practicing, doing SOMETHING.

But all I can do is stare at the wall.

The cell is cold.

And I no longer care.

Aran Liander