Friday, February 17, 2012
The Holodiary of Aran Liander- Jedi Apprentice
I have some very good news; General Grievous has been found and Master Obi-Wan Kenobi has been sent to take him out. Some of the younger Jedi have some doubts whether or not Master Kenobi can handle it but I know he'll do just fine in taking that metal monster down; he killed a Sith Lord as an Apprentice and I'm certain he will be able to take down a non-Force user, even a formidable one such as Grievous. My only question is why Anakin won't be going with his former Master; they ARE a team after and an extremely effective one at that. But all in all, I'm just very, very thankful that Grievous will soon be gone; once he's gone, the war will be over.
I can't imagine not being at war. Even though the war has only been in three years of my life, not even half of it, I feel as if I've been fighting for forever. I'm not sure what to expect when the war ends; how will I react? Will I feel joy or nothing? But enough of that; I need to stop focusing on the negative and instead take part in the small joys I can gather in this dark, but hopefully brightening, time.
I watched Obi-Wan and Anakin walking through the halls of the Temple earlier right before Master Kenobi departed for his mission. I can't believe how close they are; they were once Master and Apprentice but their relationship seems very different than that between Master and pupil or even parent and child. I must have had my mouth open because Obi-Wan gave me a smile and nodded his head in my direction.
“May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi,” I'd said, bowing. He'd returned it and thanked me before starting off again, Anakin following quickly by his side. I remember it even now, that sudden sense that they weren't two individuals but one unit; two halves of the same hole. The light had shone between them and for a moment Obi-Wan seemed to melt into the light, his light brown cloak seeming to gather the light in it and reflect it in an array of many beautiful lights. Anakin's cloak had had a much different effect, however. His cloak seemed to glow with a faint crimson glow, like that of magma bubbling up from a volcano. Yet even though their lights were different they seemed to somehow fit and it was...beautiful. Their friendship, their companionship, everything- it was so strong that I had no way of knowing how it had all worked out or how much they cared about each other. It was definitely different than anything I'd seen in anyone.
Then Anakin had suddenly turned to look back at me, his light blue eyes blank and I'd shuddered, the image of him embracing the Senator from Naboo flooding my vision. Did he know I knew. But he'd smiled at me and raised a hand and the air had left my lunges in a whoosh. But even though I was relieved that he didn't know I knew of his secret, I also felt completely wretched for his kindness towards me. Would he have smiled at me if he'd known? I guess I'll never know.
I can't believe I forgot to mention that I have some more good news; I guess I got too carried away. Well, earlier today, my Master and I went out to a restaurant out in a district near the Temple. We typically eat at the Temple when we're on Coruscant but every once in awhile we go out somewhere. No where extravagant, of course, since lavishness is not the Jedi way, but it was a relatively nice place and I enjoyed coming here with my Master.
When we'd left the Temple I'd felt something lift from my chest; like the despair, guilt, and grief had somehow inexplicably left me, at least for a time. My Master, too, seemed a lot more at ease than I'd seen him in a long time- maybe even before the war. It was wonderful, so wonderful. All the people at the place didn't look on us with contempt which was a nice change from the usual dark looks us Jedi have been receiving of late. It was a nice quiet time and we rarely spoke but really it felt like we were communicating without speaking; like we were one. I remember smiling and my Master had asked me about it and I said, a sudden revelation filling me with a certainty that only the Force brings and I'd said “Master, I think the war is going to end soon.” And I truly hope with all my being that my words prove to be true ones. May the Force be with you.