Friday, February 24, 2012
From the holodiary of Aran Liander: Jedi Apprentice
It's hard to believe, but the tension on Coruscant is a whole lot worse. The Council and the Chancellor seem....at odds. Not that they're being rude to each other or anything; they are, as they have always been, civil. But there is a tightness in their faces that used to not be there when they were in each others presences.
Anakin does definitely not look well. Whenever I see him pacing the halls of the Temple, I take notice the gray tint in his skin which seems to have grew like an infestation on his face ever since Obi-Wan left. He left the Temple again to meet up with the Senator again last night but I swear on the Jedi Code I have not followed him.
Yet even with this terrible, nerve-raising tenseness, I still feel that the war will end soon. I can't quite explain why I feel this is so but I know that it's true; I just don't know what it will mean. When I first sensed I felt, as I told you before, great happiness but now I'm not so sure. What if the war DOES end but we are the ones defeated? I can't bear such an idea; how will the thousands in the Republic survive if we lose to the Sith? I feel sick just thinking about it.
My Master and I have been spending a lot of time together lately; not just training and going missions like we'd done before the war but walking or traveling around Coruscant and talking.
I've really been enjoying our time together; it makes me feel more calm and secure than I've felt in a long time and sometimes I'm able to forget about all the death I have seen and caused, all the losses, all the grief, all the secrets. I thank the Force that I have such a kind, caring Master who is able to speak to me like a Master should and help me with my problems. I couldn't ask for a better person to train under.
We are going out to a restaurant now. I'll be back when I have the time to write.
I'm scared. I just awoke from a nightmare and....and I don't know how to explain it into something intelligible. Something is wrong, I can sense something is wrong. While sleeping all I could see was an explosion and with that supernova of light and burning, raw power I sensed death. But it was more than that but, but I don't understand everything. I heard strange, crude voices speaking in a rough language I have no knowledge of; beyond that everything was just too bizarre, too twisted.
I've tried staring out the window at the space traffic but it's just making me more edgy and scared since the lights speeding across the night reminds be of that abominable star-burst, that explosion of evil that had startled me from sleep.
The tension is worse, I can suddenly feel it in the air; as if the entire population on Coruscant was holding it's breath, waiting for something that was softly approaching; coming slowly out of the night.
Okay, okay, I need to stop. Thinking about such things will cause me to take that fatal plunge into despair that leads to the darkside. I can't let that happen....I won't let it happen.
There are many Jedi and even though we are spread thing we'll be fine. We have the Force and we have each other and I hope and believe that will see us all through the shadows to dawn.
It look bleak now but we must trust in the Force and the Republic. I know I do.
May the Force be with you and let all that I dream about never, ever come to pass.