Happy International Women's Day everyone! :D Today I want to share with you my favorite female characters as well as write a small note to my younger self. But before I do that, I want to share a link for all the accomplishments women made last year
Here they are!! :D
And many more!
#DearMe (this is something I've seen a lot of women do, so I thought I'd do it too).
You are a good girl and I'm proud that you grew up to be more mature and more optimistic than many of your peers(and that you kept your innocence! Even though people hurt you, you still pulled through and I'm proud that you did :) ).
You are also very talented. Never forget that and one day you will be amazing at all that you set your mind to do. Don't worry if you're acting/writing/singing/Taekwondo sounds or feels weird, you are good and people will love you. And during that year you were feeling horrible, just be aware that things end up getting so much better! :) You will make awesome friends, you'll get to go to a convention, you'll get to do some amazing acting and writing work, and you will be much happier.
Also, along with your OCD you have aspergers so it's important to realize that and learn to be okay with it. There are things that, because of your disorder, that will just not be able to handle and if you ever feel guilty realize it is okay- you are good at helping people in other ways and while you may lack empathy at times, at other times you have more than most people and that's wonderful to see. And while you may feel a bit excluded from others with aspergers, your disorder is valid and you do have it, no matter what naysayers say.
And you are also on the Ace spectrum, so if you feel weird about various 'inappropriate stuff' that everyone seems to be blabbing non-stop about, that's why. While you may think they're weird, just understand that both ways of being are perfectly acceptable and that they should respect you(warning, a girl will shove something unpleasant at your face because of this, but that will be the worst of it).
BE YOU! I know you are good about this, but still, realize that you are awesome and great and you shouldn't feel self-conscious about what others think of you. I still work on this, but just understand that. Love what you like, all of your fandoms and ships and favorite characters are valid. Don't let others tell you that you can't like the EU, or Siri Tachi, or that they know more than Jedi than you(because you are one of the experts of that field).
Also, while you may more 'masculine' than a lot of your female peers, get it out of your head that being 'feminine' is bad. You will get over a lot of it eventually but it's good to remove the thoughts before they sink too much into your psyche. There is nothing wrong with being feminine, so don't feel guilty for finding guys attractive(not that this is feminine- it isn't- but a lot of people consider it so) or that you have fun with shipping, or even that you enjoy to wear a nice dress every once in a while. It also doesn't mean you are weak or any less badass or awesome or tomboyish if you like a few stereotypical 'feminine things'. You do get better about it, but that is one thing you especially need to work on. And you have Dean Winchester to learn with, so there's that :).
Also, make sure you know that there are times to speak up and times where you should not. Learning to know both of these is important and is something you should start working on now. People shouldn't walk all over you and if they are toxic it's okay to cut them out of your life(not everyone will change or apologize- still be the good girl you are and apologize and be the bigger person).
And if you ever worry that you can't physically take care of yourself, you will one day get to a very high rank in Taekwondo and you WILL be able to take care of yourself and you shouldn't feel weak ever again. You aren't invincible but you definitely ARE NOT weak and if you ever do feel weak, don't worry, you'll leave that state far behind you eventually and you will be strong and amazing and capable.
Keep your chin up, you brave little Jedi girl and keep your optimism, your innocence, your maturity, your enthusiasm, your geekiness, your strength, and your hardworking sensibilities. Those will get you far.
Proud of you.
Maegen :) (now me).