Friday, April 6, 2012
From the holo-diary of Aran Liander: Jedi Apprentice
The stormtroopers found me last night and I barely escaped with my life; I managed escape by leaping into space traffic and letting the flashing lights and stinging wind carry me away.
Because of that, I decided that I would follow through with my idea turn myself in as a war orphan. I shall go under the name of Rune Shyn. I hope that this way I will be able to hide in plain sight. I should be able to do it. At least, I hope I can.
I'm going in now. May the Force be with me.
I'm being kept in a large, board house until they can match me up with a family to live with for the time being . Family. The word sounds so strange to me; I don't remember anything of my birth family but for my whole life the Jedi were my family and my Master my father. That will never change, I can assure you.
The bed is hard and the food is mediocre; you can tell that these people are low on funds from the war and the new, evil regime. The children here are hopeless and dead-eyes; all their hopes gone, just like mine. Their lives were ripped apart by the cursed war that I have realized was just a ploy so that the Sith could dominate the galaxy. Damn the Sith! Damn them to the nine hells where they will never harm anyone ever again. I wish the darkside didn't exist, I wish the Sith didn't exist, I wish non of this hand happened. But wishing is futile. I've wished on a million stars to let this all be a dream, and for the war to end back all those eons ago, but my wish never came true.
I'll tell you how I got here, I have nothing better to do. I need to get my mind off everything otherwise I worry I will go crazy..maybe I already have.
When the guards brought me in, I worried they would search my bag, with all of my revealing possessions, but luckily I was able to use the Force to divert their attention. They had me fill out many forms and asked me many questions which I answered as well as I could, having created a fake history on my way here.
The guards then lead me to a small room where a twenty-or-so aged woman with sat at a desk. Her medium-brown hair was pulled severely behind her head in a pony-tail which reminded me of the small one I used to wear my hair in. Her face, however, was kind and I immediately felt at ease with her; I sensed no malice in her aura.
“Hello, dear. My name is Linna Tribur and I'm the Counselor here. I'm here to help you and talk to you until we are able to place you in a new home. What is your name?” I nearly replied with my actual name and status as a Jedi, but bit that back just in time.
“Rune Shyn.” I had chosen the name based off my friend Rune and my Master's surname; it was the best memorial I could give them.
She smiled sadly at me and I tried to return it but instead I realized she reminded me of my friend, Kyla, and tears fill my eyes; Kyla is most likely lost, just like everyone else.
“Poor child. You've lost so much, haven't you?” I nod; she has no idea how much I've lost. She could never understand. Never. She reached across the desk and took my hand. I had jumped, nerves prickling. No one but my Master had ever done that. The thought of my Master, mercilessly, cruelly slaughtered by Anakin caused more tears to fall, streaking down my cheek like rain drops on glass.
She squeezed my hand.
“It's all right. I understand how you feel. We've all lost people in this horrible war.”
Fury built up in me; so raw and red hot that it frightened me.
She doesn't understand, even is she knew, she wouldn't; she didn't see the only father she'd ever known struck down my one you had once so admired, she didn't see her whole live explode in her face and be burned so badly that every morning you wake up, you wish you hadn't.
I had lifted my face to her, swallowed my rage as much as I could and whispered.
“No, you don't.”
“You may think that, but it isn't true. I lost my mother during the attack on Coruscant.”
My cheeks burned with shame. I had been selfish and that was something a Jedi should never be.
“I'm sorry.” She'd smiled at me again and that time I hadn't been able to stop the sobs that came.
I had cried into the table; the first sobbing fit I'd let myself have since Flame Night.
The woman had come around the desk and put her arm around me, stroking my head like my Master had done so long ago.
“Don't worry, Rune, your safe. Nothing can hurt you here. I know it's hard but your a strong boy and you'll be able to make it. You'll soon be living in a new home with a new family who will love and raise you.”
'But I don't WANT a new family! I want my Master back. I want my Order, my life, back. I want to be a Padawan again. I'm not ready to be a Knight. I'm NOT!' I had wanted to scream but I knew I couldn't say that. The woman had remained silent after that, letting me weep until I cried no more. She had stood again and went back around to the other side of the desk; the wood separating us again. I might not have seen correctly, but I had thought I'd seen tears in her eyes.
“Rune, I know this may be hard for you, but I need your parents' names.” I swallowed, rubbing the chaffing sleeve against my eyes, wishing I had on my Jedi Tunic instead of this wretched, oversized shirt.
“My father-my father was named Lint Shyn.”
“And your mother?”
“I don't remember her. She died when I was born.”
“Yes, but what was her name?” I hadn't thought about that and for a moment, I had floundered, panic gripping me so hard I nearly bolted from the room. Then I said the first name that came to me.
“Kyla. Her name was Kyla.”
“Thank you, Rune. The guards will take you to your room and show you around the facility. If you need anything you can come to me and we'll talk; does that sound good?” I had nodded and left the room.
I think I'll meditate now. I haven't had time to do this in forever so I hope that maybe I can release this crushing grief but I doubt it will work. Nothing seems to be able to work.
I only have the Force and my life is all I have to give.
Sorry this is so late! I got passed my writers block and I have been working for many hours on my book the last few days. With that, school, my activities, and it being Holy Week, I haven't had much time to write this until today.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I really can't wait to post next weeks segment; Aran is going to go back to the Temple and something will happen! I also am looking forward to writing about him having to adjust to living with a family and all that.
May the Force be with you...Always
Jedi Shena Tokala out