From the holo-diary of Aran Liander: Jedi Apprentice
I arrived this morning at Natalia and Ben's home at all day, I have felt like a stranger.
These people, they seem nice enough, but would they take me in if they knew who I was?
They had fashioned a room for me; covered in posters from holofilms that I guess are popular for boys my age; I wouldn't know since I don't usually watch holofilms. As a Jedi, I pretty much never had the time, but I can't exactly tell Natalia and Ben that. Maybe I'll give the films a watch later tonight; then I won't have to lie if they ask me about which film I liked the best. I probably won't like the films though; they seem all about war and killing and I've seen enough of that.
Anyway, besides the films, my room as a desk, a tall, thick bed instead of a sleep couch, and a shelf filled with holonovels. Natalia and Ben told me to make myself at home when after giving me a tour of the small flat, before coming down for lunch.
Lunch was an extremely strange affair. Natalia and Ben told me that they hadn't been able to have children and that they hoped I would become their song; they also said they wanted me to called them 'Mom' and 'Dad'. How can I do that? I don't even remember my birth parents and my Master was the only parent I actually want to have. I'm just glad they didn't ask about my parents; If I'd had to talk about the man who was Roan Shyn, I know I would crack.
I hid the last of my old life underneath my bed, hoping that Natalia or Ben won't find it while cleaning in my room, which I won't allow since I'll keep my room nice and straight. I nearly wept when I'd pushed my bag as far as it would go beneath the bed, only a segment of the strap peeking out from among the large boxes. No one would know it was there except for me. As I'd stood, I'd felt as if I had closed the lid of of my life, encasing it forevermore in its tomb. I don't want to stop being a Jedi. I had touched the still singed edges of my hair where my Padawan braid had once resided and recited the Jedi Code until the swelling pain in my breast abated enough for me to bear.
I will uphold the Jedi Code, Master. I promise. I promise you and all of my sisters and brothers that have perished.
There is one more thing I'm worried about. Later in the day, just as we were preparing for dinner, Natalia and Ben started talking about school.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
I've lived and studied at the Temple my whole life but I would hardly call it a school. It was home and everyone who lived their loved it with all their hearts. But school, from what I've heard and witnessed during my missions before the Clone Wars, isn't like the Temple. I don't know what I'll do or how I'll be able to fit in. I guess the only thing for me to do is pretend I'm a Jedi on a mission. I won't make any friends and I won't make any enemies. I'll stay under the radar and I can hope that I can survive this new, bizarre life while working towards fixing, or at least bringing closure, to my beautiful old one.
I guess this is goodbye.
Goodbye hallowed walls, goodbye sparkling fountains, goodbye to you wise Masters, powerful Knights, dedicated Padawans, and hopeful Initiates. Goodbye Temple, I've lost my way home forever now. I'm a wanderer in the stars. Goodbye Kyla, Rune, and Lint. Goodbye Master. I love you all and I will make you proud of me.
Because I am not saying goodbye to the Force, I am not saying goodbye to my vows or my Code. I was Knighted as a Jedi of the Republic and I will uphold that honor, even as my shoulders tremble beneath its heavy weight. I am a Jedi Knight and I will go through my new life, in this nightmarish new galaxy, like one.
I swear to you, I promise you, the Jedi will return. And even if I don't live to see it happen, I know in my heart that someday my dream will come true.
Sorry for any misspellings or grammar mistakes and sorry it is so short.